Fred & his helpful friends...

I am not really sure when this story occurred
Or where the event took place
The only thing that I'm certain of
Is that names have been changed to save face
I’ll start with whom this story’s about
Who we'll call quite simply, Fred
And his all-consuming problem was
His genitals thought him dead
Now, some have said it was the full, bright moon
Provoking the boys one night
To wage a war with an unused dick
T'was the balls that started the fight
'This is it, we've had enough
we can't take any more
just hanging here like damn lead weights,
yo ‘dick head what's the score'?
'Aw come on guys don't bother me'
the penis then replied,
'you know this here ain't my fault
you gotta let me slide'.
The balls gasped, 'dude, who gives a shit
it's not your job to think,
we’re certain we’re about to fall off
or at least on the very brink,
you, old friend, are responsible
for relieving some of our weight
and whatever plan you may devise
make sure to get it straight’.
So then the balls went back to sleep
Back in to their rest
And Penis began to work on a plan
At least, he’d try his best.
Fred awoke the next morning
Quite unlike other mornings before
Given that, while in the night
His boxer shorts had tore
Then, out it sprang, all by itself
A tall, mysterious loner
Eye to eye and head to head
There it stood, the almighty boner.
‘Yo what’s happening friend of mine
do you remember me?
I’m the dude inside your pants,
the one that helps you pee,
You look surprised, I thought you knew
that a dick could piss AND moan
Fred, it’s high time you realized,
dicks have a mind of their own!
Now, I’m here to say, I’m taking control
I'll still need your assistance
It’s time to take one for the team
So that we can reclaim our existence’.
Then Penis went on to tell Fred
His carefully laid out plan
He’d promised the two guys ‘neath him
That he’d do what ever he can
It all took place that very day
Why waste more valuable time
Fred and the boys found a whorehouse
And spent Fred’s every last dime
And it was well invested
For he was there a long while
In fact, the whore said, ' this is the first time,
I have seen a penis smile’.
That about ends my story
Fred’s a happy camper now
With the help of his smart genitals
And a professional’s good ‘know-how’
If by chance you’re wondering
What the moral to this tale could be
It’s ‘don’t ever deny the boys downstairs'
If you do, just wait and see.