87 Ways to Annoy People (and counting...)

1. Ask everyone you meet what gender they are.
2. Argue with everybody.
3. Get hysterical.
4. Threaten law suits.
5. Insinuate. Implicate. Insist.
6. Say sorry, then do whatever it was you said you were sorry for.
7. Gamble with the rent money.
8. Stay directly in front or behind fire trucks and ambulances.
9. When giving out directions, leave out a turn or two.
10. Don't make up your mind.
11. Improve your posture by walking with your nose in the air.
12. Tell people that work really hard that they should work harder.
13. Tell really lazy people that they should work harder.
14. Talk with your mouth full.
15. Accuse. Confuse. Refuse.
16. Comment on the weight gain of others.
17. Adjust your nuts/boobs whenever you want.
18. Keep a pile of wisecracks for tense and serious situations.
19. Answer a question with a question.
20. See what it takes for the lifeguard to blow the whistle.
21. Be the straw that breaks the camels back.
22. Clean your finger nails at the dinner table.
23. Tell people what they think they want to hear.
24. Notice good ideas and pass them on as your own.
25. Add Senator, Dr. or The, to your name when making reservations.
26. Don't volunteer for the back seat and never take the middle one.
27. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.
28. Never do anything until you have been asked twice.
29. Put off until tomorrow whatever you can do the day after tomorrow.
30. Go up on the down escalator and vice-versa.
31. Don't shower after a hard workout.
32. Lie about your age, minus 5 to 15 years or add 20 to 30.
33. Change channels every two seconds.
34. Cut to the front of the line.
35. Underline in other peoples books.
36. Slurp your soup.
37. If you can't think of something nice, say something nasty.
38. Be judgmental.
39. Read over the shoulders of people on the bus.
40. Ignore deadlines.
41. Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and leave the cap off.
42. When it says "Reserved Parking" assume it means for you.
43. Take the labels off of unopened cans.
44. Cover up your mistakes and pass the blame.
45. Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one that you want.
46. When you’re done with your gum, stick it under the chair.
47. If you do something nice, make sure everyone knows about it.
48. Put a rude message on someone else's answering machine.
49. Measure people by their money and the clothes they wear.
50. Be ambiguous, it lets you work both sides of the issue.
51. Leave your underwear in the sink.
52. Chew other people’s pencils.
53. Get a backseat drivers license.
54. Dish it out, but don't take it.
55. Say you'll change, and don't.
56. Change the rules to suit your needs.
57. Pull the covers over to your side.
58. Eat cookies or crackers in bed.
59. Let doors slam behind you in people's faces.
60. Repeat yourself.
61. Repeat yourself.
62. Vividly describe your last surgery to everyone before eating dinner.
63. Put things back where they don't belong.
64. Take a colicky baby to the movies.
65. Have belching contests in restaurants.
66. Make the same mistake twice.
67. Pee in the swimming pool.
68. Ride the shoulder till you pass all jammed traffic, and then cut in.
69. Wear a large hat to the theater.
70. Always have an ulterior motive.
71. Always take the biggest piece.
72. Don't use a Pooper-Scooper when walking your dog.
73. Take cheap shots.
74. Take forever to find a word in Scrabble.
75. Cause gridlock.
76. Get out of bed on the wrong side.
77. Change your mind.
78. Glue a chip on your shoulder.
79. Put salt in sugar containers.
80. Blow out other peoples birthday candles.
81. Don't refill the ice cube tray.
82. Ask people how much they make.
83. Cut off people in the middle of their sentences.
84. Practice pulling the wool over people's faces.
85. Hit below the belt.
86. Deny, Defy & Imply.
87. Fall short.
88. When enough is enough, keep going...